Cynthia's Story

Written By: Cynthia N. Sandoval

Don’t let me go down in my disease, my disease that is everything that is distressing to me

Help me find a way out when the way when the path is unclear 

Call me by my name that I may heed unto your voice 

Running in terror, despair inside my darkness 

Be there!

Oh,! when I reach the end!

And allow me to fall directly into safe Haven 

Arms open wide

where I may surrender

nothing else left to hide 

Tell me that you’re proud of me for every step taken!

The angry the bitterness selfish the bittersweet and all triumphs!

Just let it all amount to something!

I asked for your divine protection in those moments!!

where I was truly at my weakest . .

Even as alone, as you and I have been separated like this

I still felt you there. 

I cannot see you and I yearn to see your face, especially come alive through the pages of your word,

for the understanding of this love that commands it is over everybody and everything

I cannot hide from my true identity.

The one that you first declared so many light years before and beyond the cosmic and over the oceans where there was only darkness hovering over the waves,

and simply you’re stillness.

So direct me now, as I take my first real step – into the only challenge you ever gave, to live this life entirely and completely as me. Even if lonely and afraid

You said over a thousand times in your verses different ways! Do not be afraid

I am.