Cynthia's Story

Written By: Cynthia Sandoval

I wait for you until the day dies out

All of it’s colors have now dried out

I sat on the warm rough sidewalk there, before the world was awake that morning

and watched people walk past, cars go by, and still, nothing

My brother and sister, had already retreated yes, it was into their rooms they had all finally lost interest, Of the promises you made, that ended with emptiness.

As each hour went by and still you did’t drive up, to say hello, to ask how I am, to pick me/us up.

But I waited there, as the minutes grew, and with each moment to moment that a car went by and it wasn’t you, I KNEW…

That yes, you’d be the one to tare me up first, and the most, and every man after that, would have to try to fill me up inside with the heart you destroyed.

I never ever told you, how if felt to be left out by you, because I wasn’t strong enough to say it then, barely I held it back. I went on, I tucked it away. I acted like it never happened and thus my decay.

No relationship since then, has been successful. Oh how I struggled. I was bitter, I was jealous, of nothing, and no evidence. Making everyone pay for the anger I had inside, hoping it could justify.

My reasons, my yearning, my hoping my longing. Of one day you riding up, not just coming through for you, but really, really SHOWING UP.

TO say hello to ask me how I am, to pick me up from circumstance, back when I was 10. But that was then, and I am older now, I just wish you would of warned me, about how never to wait for you, especially until the day dies out.