Cynthia's Story

I always try to guard my sons lives with the utmost care. I try to do the right things and teach them what is right from wrong. I correct them when needed and I am oh so up in their business as to make sure I know and keep up with what is going on in their lives. But, as a mother, there is only so much I can do and then I’ve got to allow God to intervene to direct their steps when they are faced with obstacles.

I always knew there would come a day that one, both, or the other, would find themselves under peer pressure, become exposed to things that are lustful in content, and or just challenged. Well, that day happened though I was hoping and have prayed many many times that it wouldn’t. My son had been led through a Tiktok video to a very explicit site and to my shock as I stumbled across these sexual sites on his phone, it was with much hesitation that I decided to just listen to him instead of reacting in distress.

Because, our father in heaven, that doesn’t bring down rath of judgement on his children, I listened to my sons’ responses as he told me very fearfully how he saw certain images on the internet. I noticed his hands began to shake his breathing became frequent, and his eyes filled up with embarrassment. I wanted to get upset, at him, at myself for not being super mom and blocking those websites and for also feeling like a failure at not guarding his mind in this moment that came about. But somehow I just listened to him. I realized later as I took a drive to think, on how calm I was about it. I didn’t overreact, I didn’t break, I didn’t feel like all was lost. I didn’t see that he was hurt. Or broken hearted. I counted the blessings.

I prayed about it. I believed that the lord has our journey in the palm of his hands, and he had called me in that moment, not to be in fear of things that this life may cause especially when it’s the ones we hold the dearest.

He wants us to TRUST him. To Go to him. To love him, even in times that are so difficult because the challenges of this life won’t disappear just because we wish them too or pray that they don’t manifest.

As hard as it can be, we have to learn to not get in the way of God’s total glory in the trials of our personal walk but do take in his promises that he would never leave nor forsake us. That includes the children he has given to us to raise well. Moms and dads out there, It’s not about perfection, but about doing what you can, going to the Lord in prayer about everything and being patient, loving, understanding and also realizing that God is not quick to crucify us when and if we end up screwing things up Especially when he knows we will at some point stumble on the promises we made to ourselves to do better.

This may have been one of the best opportunities yet I have ever allowed the Lord to be great in my life.By allowing him to use me as a vessel for my son to not feel shame, judgement, and believe the lies of the enemy that he was bad and or all the things that come from this world.

So my advice to you when the thing happens that you secretly feared wouldn’t happen weather its to a family memeber, children, spouse, a friend, someone you work with or even yourself, is to first, be calm, breathe, remember you can trust the lord and his promises and to proceed with patience, love, and hope in the LORD first, and to know that he still loves you, will help you, and move on your behalf.

I pray that this helps someone today. That you can find peace in your secret fears, and know that you have a God that sees all, and has an answer to every one’s unique circumstances. To know that God is so involved deeper than we can ever grasp, and even in the thoughts we are afraid to say out loud even to ourselves.